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I Am Being Sent Part 1
August 29, 2023
It is just after midnight on 8/29/2023. Tropical Storm and soon to be Hurricane Idalia is heading slowly towards landfall in Florida. It is expected to intensify over the warm waters of the Gulf in the next day and a half before it makes landfall on Wednesday morning. 18 years ago today, Hurricane Katrina made landfall in Louisiana causing widespread devastation and loss of life.
Three days ago, on the morning of 8/26, I awakened from a disturbing dream. I was still awake and had not drifted back to sleep when I felt a double-tap on my left thigh. The hotel room I was staying in was dark and my glasses were sitting on the nightstand. I was tired and did not immediately open my eyes. I called out to my daughter who was sleeping nearest to me on the adjacent bed. She did not answer. She was fast asleep. I called out to my wife who was on the sofa bed with my two younger daughters (the arm of the sofa bed prevents the baby from rolling off the bed). She also did not answer. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I got up and walked around. Everyone else was fast asleep.
I stayed up and prayed a little while after awakening my wife to let her know what had just happened. I did not know what it all meant other than the supernatural touch on my leg drew attention to the disturbing dream that had awakened me prematurely. I paced around and prayed for a while before I returned to bed to continue sleeping.
I had a few more dreams that continued the theme of my first dream. They blend into each other, and I don’t remember all of the details as I write this three days later. The dreams were all related. In the dreams, I was the same person, but I had a slightly different life history. I was connected to people I didn’t know in real life. One was of a former classmate of mine at a college that I never attended, but in the dream she was someone I remembered. We had a clear history together even though we had not seen each other since our undergraduate days. She approached me and I felt her sense of sadness and longing. Perhaps it was also loss and loneliness. I was about to tell her who I was, that I was married, and that I was a Christian which she would not have known from our college days. Before I could finish speaking, she expressed her desire for me. I don’t remember what she said, or how she communicated her feelings. I just knew what she felt inside with even greater clarity than she was capable of expressing in words. I paused and I was taken aback.
I instantly knew that I would have to disappoint her, but I also felt an intense empathy for her pain and loneliness, and the disappointment she would feel when I rejected her. But my heart was filled with compassion and love and I didn’t know what to do. It took me a long while to eventually work up the nerve and the courage, but I eventually told her that I knew the real reason why she was before me, and what I was sent to do–which was to tell her that she needs Jesus, and that Jesus loves her and wants her for Himself. I told her that this is what she truly desired and what she truly needed. She burst into tears and nodded to confirm my words. In that moment of vulnerability and weakness, she was able to see clearly and be convicted. I hugged her and the dream ended.
The first dream I had that morning was similar, but also very different. There was another woman, but she was actually an old high school classmate, someone that I actually knew in real life. We had a lot of the same interests. She was very intelligent and beautiful. In high school, we were only friends, and I never wanted to be anything more than friends with her. As a teen, I would fixate my infatuation on a single girl, always looking for “the one” and hoping that my current crush was my soul mate. I guess when I was friends with this woman, I happened to always have my eye on someone else.
So here we are together in this dream. Both nearly 50. I am married with kids. She’s divorced with kids. We are in a classroom. It doesn’t seem like a high school reunion, but it was a reunion of some sort, and we happened to meet by chance. It wasn’t planned. Once again, I felt her affection for me and her desire to pursue something more than friendship. Perhaps she didn’t know I was married. I don’t even know how to describe the feeling, but I strongly wanted to avoid causing her any pain of rejection. I could never reciprocate any romantic love or affection towards her. Doing so would break my vows to both God and my wife. I was paralyzed. I didn’t know what to say. How do I convey to her that she’s wonderful and deserving of love and affection, but that I could not be the one to provide it–at least not the kind that she wanted? This was my first dream of that morning, and I had not yet come to the conclusion I had reached in my later dream which may now seem obvious.
It was after this first dream that I first awakened in early morning hours. I prayed lying down for a little while then grabbed my cell phone and played with it for a few minutes before closing my eyes again to try to get more rest. It was then then that I felt the aforementioned double-tap on my thigh. Tap, tap. The second tap slightly stronger than the first.
Eventually, I fell back asleep and awakened to start my day with my family. In the evening, after a busy day, I was alone in the shower. Taking showers is one of the times each day when I am guaranteed to be free of distractions. There are no little electronic devices trying to grab my attention. Most of the time, my kids are not trying to disturb me. Though it may last a few moments, I spend it in fellowship with my Lord. As the warm waters of the shower washed over me, I cried out to God to understand what my dreams had meant, and why I had been awakened by a supernatural physical touch to my leg.
The Lord spoke to my spirit. “I, the Lord, am a jealous God. My jealousy for you is a thousand times stronger than you can understand. I feel a divine jealousy for you. I hem you in behind and before. I have called you to come apart and be separate and to touch no unclean thing. I am the one who separates you from the world. Friendship with the world is enmity towards me. I have set you apart even from my people so that you would speak my word and deliver my whole counsel without fear and without compromise. I know your strengths and weaknesses. You don’t want to hurt others, nor do you want to be hurt by others. You want the love and acceptance of those that you love. Yet, even those that I have called my own have rejected you because they feared the authority of those that they have chosen to submit to that have not been sent by me. They are given the choice to repent or face the same fate as the hirelings that lead them astray. They will do well to not give into fear.”
“For many years, I have kept you silent and I have not used you to bring forth my word to an impoverished and famished people whose hunger and thirst is only outweighed by their pride and arrogance. Yet in this time of darkness and silence, my people have cried out for my voice and my light. It is for the sake of my remnant that I have awakened you now. This is the first new word that you will deliver to the world. It is called ‘I Am Being Sent Part One’. For a time you will go forth anonymously, but soon you will emerge completely from the shadows to shine my light again for a season. When that season has ended, you will go forth to face the fate that we have spoken about long ago. For now, take my rod. I will take it back at the proper time. And deliver my word! Now! Go forth! You have been sent!”
In obedience to God–Abba (Father), Messiah Yeshua–my Lord Jesus Christ, and the Most Holy Spirit, I write this.
Peace to you all.
In Christ,
Dan